"Crash" Exclusive Lyric Analysis with On-the-Rise Singer, Zxena

Hey Zxennies! As you’ve seen on my socials this week, I’m going to give you a stanza-by-stanza breakdown of the lyrics for my song, “Crash.” So let’s dive in.

The First Time I Fell in Love and How I Reacted After We Broke Up

Let’s start with the first verse.

Silent, midnight

Love’s a drug but can't fill the high

Your touch on my mind

“Silent, midnight” starts to paint an image in the listener’s mind. Where’s a place that’s silent at midnight? For me, it’s my bed. When I’m lying in bed at the end of the day, that’s usually when my truth unfolds, especially the parts of it that I struggle with or don’t want to admit. It’s when I think about things that truly matter the most to me.

“Love’s a drug but can't fill the high.” When you fall in love with someone, it’s literally like your brain is on drugs. Some studies have said that people who have recently fallen in love have about the same neurochemical balance as drug addicts. I was at a point where I was past the highs of a relationship and had fallen into the lows of a breakup. I still loved him, but that love couldn’t give me the high that it used to since it was no longer reciprocated.

“Your touch on my mind.” I’m laying in bed, as I mentioned earlier, and I’m thinking about him and his touch. We recently broke up and I just miss him having him next to me all the time.

Breathe in, breathe out

Letting it all take over now

My heart chained and bound

“Breathe in, breathe out.” When I’m on the verge of tears, I do breathing exercises to calm down. I’m reaching my breaking point but trying to prevent it from happening anyway.

“Letting it all take over now.” Here, I broke. I finally allowed myself to feel all the sorrow and heartbreak I had suppressed. There were a lot of nights like this after we broke up. It was a constant cycle of telling myself I was over him and our relationship when I really wasn’t, trying to go to bed, fighting my feelings, and then ultimately surrendering.

“My heart chained and bound,” describes how I was still very much emotionally attached to this guy. My heart was still set on him and I wasn’t able to undo that even though I tried.

My First Heartbreak and Why it Made Me Crash

Chorus:

Letting go is something I don't know

Need some hope, this feeling’s getting old

Crashing down, not a sound

Can I be saved now?

Letting go is something I don't know

“Letting go is something I don't know.” This is the first time I had fallen in love with someone, so I didn’t know how to let go of him. I thought we were going to last forever, like anyone who’s in love thinks, and I had no idea how I was supposed to live life after he was gone.

“Need some hope, this feeling’s getting old.” I tried for so many months to let go of him. It took awhile to lose those feelings.

“Crashing down, not a sound. Can I be saved now?” This goes back to those breakdowns I had about our relationship ending and him being gone. It really felt like there was no hope for me to heal. “Not a sound” refers to not hearing from him, particularly when he ghosted me after we set a place and time to meet in person and fix things.

Other Post-Breakup Coping Mechanisms and Why They Didn’t Work

Verse 2:

Extreme lengths, strong ties

Not enough to hold through the night

Clocks tickin’ on the sunrise

“Extreme lengths, strong ties.” I fell for this boy so hard I would’ve gone to the ends of the earth to make him happy. We had already known each other for a long time and built a strong friendship. When our relationship went from platonic to romantic, it made things even stronger.

“Not enough to hold through the night. Clocks tickin’ on the sunrise.” The first verse takes place at midnight. I didn’t have enough strength to control my feelings, which resulted in a breakdown. These lyrics reference that and continue through the night. Now, it’s almost sunrise. I’ve been crying all night, overthinking, and now it’s almost sunrise. I haven’t gotten any sleep because this has kept me up.

Deadly kiss, sanity missed

Another name crossed off the list

No one shares your bliss

“Deadly kiss, sanity missed.” Before we really broke up, we had a small one that we weren’t really ready for. Shortly after the mini break up, we tried to hang out again, but just as friends. We still had feelings for each other, and even though we tried to act like friends, we ended up getting back together. My sanity was gone at that point because as much as I loved him and wanted us to be together, I knew it wasn’t smart for us to get back into things.

“Another name crossed off the list.” Even though the guy “Crash” is about is the first I fell in love with, there were others who I dated before him. With them, I was infatuated, but we obviously broke up too. Now he’s in the same pool that they’re in.

“No one shares your bliss.” I tried to see other people after we broke up, but none of them gave me the same happiness that he did.

So there you have it! The meaning behind every lyric of “Crash.” This song was so therapeutic to write when I was finally ready to talk about it. If you’re going through these feelings, just know that they’ll pass eventually and that this is an opportunity to learn and grow.

Watch the music video below!